Hey Cyndi.
It has been a week since I lost you. I don't know what to think or what to feel. I would do just about anything to drive to the hospital and sit by your side, to hear you say you love me. I hope its OK if I write and text you. I just want to talk to you so bad.
We had your service yesterday. I hope it made you proud. I did what I thought you would want, you said to throw a party but I couldn't quite handle that. I promise we will do that later when I am not so sad. So many people came out to see you and to honor you. I am so thankful they could hug and cry with me. I chatted people with every slice of your life from school, to Homegoods, to Cengage, Babyzone, Twins Club, California, and Hunter's Ridge. You had an amazing affect on people. People love you.
The kids were great. They were so brave. They will help their old man get through this. I promise you, they will live a life that will make you proud. I hope they each have four kids and I see your face in their faces. I will try to parent with your voice. You were so good at it. You could move the kids to do anything with just a look or a word. I don't think I am going to have that power, but I will do my best.
I promise we will tell your stories, we will stop thinking about this last year when you were so sick and we will tell the stories of happier times. You were so beautiful. If I could have sculpted a spouse, I would have sculpted you. You were so kind, I will remember your voice the next time I am complaining about something and you would have told me to shut it.
I miss those Cyndi hugs from before you got sick, the real hugs that came from your toes. Looking through old pics have helped me remember how good I had it. I was so lucky that you chose me to be your person. I promise I will make you proud.
I love you. I miss you.
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