We dated for several years before getting married. Those early years were great. I fondly remember sleeping in at her apartment. I had a place the first year, but once we really became an item, I quite literally only went home to change clothes and come back to her place. Her bedroom had one window and it faced the woods. My girl loved to sleep, and she had these curtains that blocked out every bit of light. At 45 years old, I can't recall a more calm peaceful feeling that sleeping in that bed till late in the afternoon.
I have a terrible memory for day to day stuff, it was always Cyndi's job to remember the little stuff and one that she did so well. But I do remember the big things, and that is what I want to share here.
The First Time I Said "I Love You".
We had probably been dating for a few weeks. I don't recall why but I was out with friends and she was out with her friends. It was probably the last weekend that we didn't spend together for 20 years. I had a few too many cocktails and instead of taking me home, I asked our least intoxicated driver to drop me off at her apartment. I specifically remember she wasn't home. I knew she wasn't home but I had them drop me off there anyway. I remember being a little too tipsy to stand, so I just sat down in the hallway by her door and waited for her. She arrived sometime later (could have been 5 minutes or 5 hours again), but she too had a few cocktails. She reached down to help me up and I distinctly remember just blurting out "I Love You". She said "I Love You Too". As a bit of an aside, is there any greater set of four words in all of language than "I Love You Too".
At Cyndi's service, one of her friends and one of the people she was out with that night, told me that she said she was going to get me. That she was going to marry me and have my babies. Now I don't know if this happened the same night, but for the purpose of this Lifetime movie I will just say it did. Them saying that to me was beyond a doubt the greatest honor of my life. Just to know that in a moment without me, she thought the same way about me that I thought of her.
Over the next couple of years we went to a lot of weddings together. I love weddings. I love "love", and there is just something about a wedding that is so hopeful, so optimistic. I am sure that going to all those weddings with her just made me every little bit more smitten than I would have otherwise been. I would sell my soul to have one of those nights back, to do over. Just to savor those moments when it was just the two of us. In love, no responsibility, no cares, nothing standing in our way.
Proposing
We had been together for 3 years by the time I proposed. We already owned a house and a dog, so we were in a sense already married. I don't know why I dragged my feet before I put a ring on it, but I did. We were planning our life together, so it was going to be a bit anticlimactic but it was still the next thing to do. I reached out to one of Cyndi's closest friends and got some intel on what kind of ring to buy. I am 28 at this point and making less than $30K a year. I shopped for the ring on-line, and today that seems like a normal thing, I don't think in 2004 it was as common a thing. I was lucky I didn't get scammed.
I got the ring, a princess cut, 0.7 carat diamond. It was delivered to the house, the one we already owned together. I remember getting the ring and being so excited to give it to her. I had literally had no idea what to do or how to do it, I just wanted to give her the ring because I thought it would make her happy. After all... it was kind of a forgone conclusion by this point.
Did I put a trail of rose petals down that lead to the bedroom, where I waited in a suit on one knee? Nope. I got home before her. I took the ring out of the box and examined it. I waited like a kid who got up early on Christmas morning for her to get home from work. She walked in, and I had the biggest grin on my face, ear to ear. I pulled the ring out and in my most romantic voice I said "so... do you wanna?".
That is what I said. Again... I am so lucky she could see past the flaws. "Well...".
"Yes!"
I was relieved to have it over. I was so nervous. Not that she would say no, but that I would somehow mess it up. And clearly... I delivered with the "do you wanna?". I was so happy that she was happy. We were engaged... now to get married.
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