Saturday, May 30, 2015

Oops... sorry family... I had the wrong day!

For the last several weeks I have been building myself up to run a 10K.  I am a fat guy, not "I use butter for toothpaste fat", but I am certainly "I would like a number 1 with a diet coke" fat.  So I try to find things to get me motivated for a little extra exercise, and signing-up for a 10K and not dying half-way through seemed like solid motivation.

I signed up for the neighborhood 10K, paid my 35 dollars, and started cranking up my distance on my running.  While I wasn't gonna be checking the "Kenyan" box on any demographics questionnaires, I was at least making solid progress (for a fat turtle).

I was running 2 miles a day at lunch, everyday, and on the weekends I had extended myself to running 4 miles.  I was all set, I figured the crowd and the other runners would juice me up enough to cover those last 2 miles, either that or I could fake GI distress.

I had even got the family motivated.  The kids were gonna get up early and join in the kid run, the wife was gonna drag the family to the event to cheer on Dad.  We were gonna make a day of it.

The night before I even carb-loaded and by carb-loaded I mean I ate everything in my house that vaguely referenced sugar in the ingredients list.  Oreos... check.  Graham crackers... check.  Pizza and Cheesy bread... double check.  I was ready, at least as ready as an overweight, approaching middle aged man was gonna be.

Event day. I got up early.  I made coffee. I put on my compression socks.  I put on my ankle braces (getting old sucks).  I laced up my shoes.  I even sat down and DJ'd up a playlist of motivational jams to keep me going.  Taylor Swift is my jam!  My wife got up, this is extra special because she tends to sleep in on the weekend (side note: I think she is usually awake, I think she just refuses to interact with the kids until after 10 on the weekends, my punishment for making 4 of them with her).  We got the kids up, and those little turd-monsters were not in the mood to get up early.

I was psyched.  I was stretching for God's sake... STRETCHING!

Then my wife just happened to check Facebook.  See she had invited another mom to a playdate at our park, for the after event stuff in our neighborhood park.  It was then when another mom in our neighborhood dropped the bombshell.  The event.  The thing that I was all dressed up for... it was NEXT WEEK!

I had the GD flyer posted to my fridge.  I had looked at this thing every day for WEEKS, I had planned (for weeks) for the event to be today.  I am a moron!  I mean perhaps not "going to a special school to learn how to retread tires", but certainly a "jackass who gets his entire family up and puts on compression socks for an event that is 7 days away" kind of moron.

Well... I guess we will just go at it and see what the day has to offer.  Hopefully I can manage to pull together enough mental function to remind myself to breathe for 7 more days.

Side note: I went on ahead and ran 5 miles... so the compression socks didn't go to waste.

Thanks for reading.... I will comeback next week after the actual event (idiot) and add some more on the actual run.  Provided I remember it!