Heaven

Our family has had a rough couple of days, with the sudden and unexpected loss of Grandma Tina.  It, along with some other stuff, is making the distance we have between us and our families feel bigger than it already is.

I have been a ridiculously fortunate person for the first thirty-seven some odd years of my life.  I have really experienced no significant loss on any level.  Even our old dogs are still poking around the house.  This moment has has led to my first discussions with the boys about loss.  When my grandmother passed away a couple of months ago, I didn't really discuss it with the boys.  While they had met Great-grandma Hazel, they had only been with her a couple of times, they didn't have an emotional bond beyond the fact we were telling them that this was a relative.

Grandma Tina of course will be different.  The boys know her, we tried talking around the subject and they led us right back to it.  So my wife jumped in and started the conversation.  My boys, like their dad, are emotional.  I am an old man, and I still can't deal with grief.  I can't watch TV shows that deal with loss logically like medical dramas, and I will NOT watch a movie where I know the protagonist dies, unless its Gladiator.  We have introduced the topic of "heaven", and then come the questions.  Where is it?  How do you get there?  How does your spirit get out?  Questions that I have no answer to.  I try to fall back on simple explanations.  As an adult, I am a science man.  My person beliefs in the hereafter are very complicated and involve the Carbon cycle.  But I do believe in a another plane of existence beyond the physical self, the Universe is too big and wondrous a place for there not to be more than meets the eye.

I don't know how I will answer their questions.  I will try to give logical answers, but answers that a 6 and 7 year old deserve to hear, answers that help them deal with the loss and give them hope.

Sorry for rambling... I will do better next time.

- Eric