2 Months

It’s been two months already.  Still seems like some sort of extended vacation.  We have had some high highs and some very low lows over our first 60 days here on the left coast.  Since the lows should be allowed to disappear back into the recesses of my mind, I thought I would focus on the cool stuff we have done/tried to do while here.

Santa Cruz – Santa Cruz is this prototypical beach town about an hour south.  It has a wide and long public beach (read pain in the ass to drag the stroller with 60 pounds of kid in it to a nice spot) that has great waves and is cheap (free beach with ten dollar parking).  It has a boardwalk, which is almost a small amusement park, full of games and rides.  It also had a pier and a bunch of restaurants we didn’t get to check out on our first trip.  We will be hitting that up on trip number two.  The kids love the beach and so far it is the best part of California.  Did I mention it was free?  We will be going there EVERY nice weekend until we find a better spot.

Muir Beach – We tried to go to Muir woods one particularly nice weekend day.  When we got there, an hour’s drive away, it was so packed people were parking two miles down hill and literally walking up a mountain to get there.  We just kept driving through and stumbled upon Muir Beach.  Completely free, it’s a nice little cozy beach.  Much smaller than Santa Cruz, but nice none-the-less.  It is basically in a park, so there is nothing to do around it.  Very cool scenery and trails to burn out the kids. 

Half-Moon Bay – We have tried twice to do stuff in here, they should rename it to traffic jam bay!  It’s foggy and isolated, only connected to the rest of the peninsula by two roads.  Both times we have been there traffic was awful.  They have a pumpkin festival in the fall and a nice little downtown area, so we will try it again eventually.  But we will pack snacks for traffic!

Six Flags – If you had to pay the regular admission price ($63/person), this place would be a rip-off.  It is a third of the size of Kings Island.  However, we got tickets for $20/person and that was totally worth it.  Great park for the kids, and they serve BEER.  Would do this again if we can find more discounted tickets.

Downtown SF – Overpriced and overcrowded, especially on nice days.  It is fun to do the tourist stuff, like the Wharf and Chinatown, but parking is $20, and everything is marked up 100%.  We need to go back and do it without the kids, where Cyndi and I could actually eat at the little restaurants.  Carson got to participate in a street performers show, which was awesome, and the view is sweet.  We have to go back and do Alcatraz but it’s really pricey.  And one more note, people are rude as hell on won’t get out of your damn way, but this is the same in EVERY downtown.

East Bay – Most likely where we will live when we get out of corporate housing.  Prices are more affordable, at least less nuts, and the area is very suburban, which I like.  Plenty of stuff to do and good schools, only about 30 minutes from work.  Each city (Dublin, Pleasanton, and Livermore) have these really cool downtown areas that look like something straight out of a movie.

Oakland – Oakland is the armpit of the bay.  It is dirty and run down, save for a few nice neighborhoods.  The scene in Family Vacation where Clark tells the kids to look at the plight!  That is pretty much Oakland.

San Jose – It is actually the largest city in the area, but it has the feel of Lexington KY.  We visited the Children’s Museum, right in the middle of downtown.  And outside of a few homeless dudes, it is pretty nice and seems small for a city of 900,000.  The museum was excellent and the kids had a great time, but it was insanely crowded.

Foster City – Where we live now, great place for kids, where my office is, and insanely overpriced real estate.  We would love to live here, but I can’t afford it.  I don’t know what that says about a place when you make the kind of money we make and I can’t afford to rent.  Great access to parks and a nearly private beach.  We will enjoy the remaining 4 months we have in housing before we head to the burbs.

San Mateo – This is the city next door to Foster City.  Densely populated, with everything you need to do located on one street.  We have been to movies a couple of times and one of these nights I will hire a baby sitter so Cyndi and I can check out their downtown area.  Tons of bars and restaurants in yet another really cool little area.

We have a few more adventures planned for the next couple of months, including a long weekend in Santa Barbara over spring break (SB is just north of LA).  I think we are going to do Santa Cruz again this coming weekend as temps are supposed to be in the 70s.  We are also planning trips to LA and San Diego but those will probably be over the summer when the kids are out of school.

Next time, I will be funny!  :)

- Eric

A Week with Daddy

So due to the terrible circumstances of last week, I found myself at home with 4 kids, 2 dogs, and 0 domestic partners.  For your joy I will now recount the struggle of the week, using a random day as a template for the goodness (since they were all pretty much the same).  I will not spare you the details.

Cyndi got up at the ass crack of dawn to head to the airport.  I helped her out to the car, kissed her goodbye and went inside for breakfast.

6:00 AM the twins are already starting to get up.  I love the way they wake up.  Most of us drag ourselves from our beds and force ourselves to start our days.  The twins wake up like they are at a rave and are somewhere between their 14th and 15th redbull.  Straight out of bed and they just start banging on the walls and the door.  This is your signal that the day is about to begin whether you are ready or not.

I get the twins downstairs, find them a show, and get them started on breakfast.  Breakfast was usually a waffle and a cup of water, so the dog got half a waffle every morning.  I had about 30 mins of time with just the twins before it was time to wake up the older kids.  I tried to be gentle, and wake them slowly.  I would rub their back and tell them it was time to wake up.  I usually had to make 3 trips back to the room before Becks actually got out of bed.  It helped if I had a football or ninja shirt ready for him to wear.

At this point we are all dressed, kids are eating.  I am checking lunch boxes, backpacks, shoes and socks.  I am combing hair (not my own - sad face from bald guy), and barking at the boys to brush their teeth.  You would think the toothbrushes are made out of steel wool the way they try to get out of brushing their teeth.  Time for the last check.  OK.  Out the door.

Everybody to the van.  The twins sprint to the van like I run after the beer cart on a hot day of golfing.  They open the door and climb in, do they get in their seat? Nope! Straight to the front, the drivers seat to turn on the lights, turn signals, honk the horn, and do their very best to throw the van in drive.  Grab the twins to throw them in their seats as we are now 5 minutes off the pace to get to school on time.  But wait... what is this gift the twins have given me.  Its a double face-melter brown bomb!  AWESOME!  Sprint back in side to change diapers.  Both twins are now screaming at me.  I am elbow deep in diaper as the second twin has ran outside and is dancing in the street.  As I yell at Carson to watch his brother, he comes inside to tell me Grant is outside.  Yes... Carson... I know... Sprint back outside to load the van.  Yes Carson, you can start the engine.

Get to school, load up the twins and head for class.  At this point I get a very snarky comment from a teacher about how the twins are dressed.  If I had wanted your opinion, I would have asked!  And while I realize it is Northern California, please note that 60 degrees is not cold.

Get to class, drop off Becks, drop off Carson.  Back to the van and head to the house.  time to try to get some work done.  Getting work done with the twins running around is not the easiest task.  Every 5 minutes one of them would pull on my pants leg for "drink" or "cwackers" or "chips".  The best part of the week had to be when I was on a teleconference with the line muted of course.  Someone asked me a question, I carefully unmuted my line to answer, and right at that specific moment one of the twins lets out "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH".  I am told those in the meeting got a kick out of it.  I am sure it will be noted on my year end evaluation.  After 3 hours of struggling to answer e-mail while listening to the twins flush the toilet, it was time to get Becks.  Put the twins in the stroller and head to school.  The walk to school is just shy of a mile and goes through two parks.  Needless to say the twins have a hard time walking through a park and not stopping.

Get to school and Beck's teacher is looking for me, the kind of look like "you are failing as a parent".  She means to tell me that he needs to work a little harder in class.  Even at 37 you don't want to be on the teachers bad side.  Pick up my wounded parental pride and haul these kids to the park to burn some energy.  30 minutes of Becks riding his bike in a circle around the park and the twins climbing up and down the slide does the trick.  One would think doing the same thing over and over for 30 minutes is boring, one would be wrong.

Back at the house its time for lunch.  Here is where I flex my cooking skills and open a lunchable!  Boom!  I would have gladly cooked but they don't really care.  I tried to work again during the hour and half between Beck's pickup and Carsons' but 3 little screamers made it even harder to focus.  Especially cause Becks brings out the destructive force in the twins, like a mayhem multiplier.

OK.  2:20.  Time to go get Carson.  Same as last time, load up the twins, grab Beck's scooter and hit the road for our walk.  Really tough to get through those parks now. "Down... down... slide... slide".  The park moms are noticing me.  I get the look from them where they don't know if they should smile at me or call the police or child welfare.  Yes... I am aware the twins have taken off their shoes and socks.  No... I am not going to do anything about it.

Here we are at school, last pickup for the day.  Carson's teacher gives me the opposite look.  "Such a good parent!".  Amazing the difference in opinion when one kid is good in school and the other is struggling.  Back to the parks.

An exact repeat of 2 hours ago, only with on more kid riding his scooter in a circle.  A mom approaches me and introduces herself.  In California having 4 kids is borderline cult.  I should start carrying around pamphlets full of just crazy end of the world gibberish and give them to people who ask me about 4 kids.  And Yes... I do have my hands full!  Thank you for pointing that out to me.

Back home, now to do home work and try to squeeze in a little more office work before I get fired.  If I get fired I am opening a restaurant with a gym in the back.  It will be like a positive feedback loop.  Workout, get hungry, eat, feel fat, workout, repeat...!

Sorry back to topic...

Dinner time... I really felt like I excelled at dinner.  I cooked them a meal each night (save for one trip to McD), I really cooked.  I enjoy cooking, I just don't enjoy clean up.  Anyhow.  We made pasta, pizza, pasta, bacon.  This family eats a lot of bacon.  Dinner was the messiest time of the day.  You have to cook two meals for the twins (one to eat and one to destroy).  After dinner there was a little time to play and then it was off to bath.

Bath time is 70% fun and 30% throwing water out of the bath on the floor.  The twins could have kept the Titanic from sinking they bail water so fast.

Bath is over and now its time to watch a little TV and then off to bed.  TV time is as much about me turning the TV back on when the twins turn it off and laugh as it is about actually winding down.  They take such pleasure in driving me nuts.  But after one last change of atomic doodie we can head to bed.  Bed time is getting so much easier now.  I have to make 8 trips back up stairs to tell the twins to get in their beds and to tell the boys to shut-up, but seeing as how the rest of my day went that was pretty good.

It is now 8:30, twins are in their room, the boys are watching a show in their bed.  I am left to clean up the fallout.  It looks like a bomb went off in the living room.  Toys are broken, dismantled, and strewn about, it looks more like modern art than a place to sit.  I clean, I clean, I clean.  Reset the room.  If you have ever watched 50 First Dates, there is a scene where they reset the day after Drew Barrymore's character goes to bed.  That is every day in Daddy Day Care.

It is now 9:30.  Time to watch a little Adult Swim on Cartoon Network and pass-out.  Its gonna be a long day tomorrow.

- Eric

Heaven

Our family has had a rough couple of days, with the sudden and unexpected loss of Grandma Tina.  It, along with some other stuff, is making the distance we have between us and our families feel bigger than it already is.

I have been a ridiculously fortunate person for the first thirty-seven some odd years of my life.  I have really experienced no significant loss on any level.  Even our old dogs are still poking around the house.  This moment has has led to my first discussions with the boys about loss.  When my grandmother passed away a couple of months ago, I didn't really discuss it with the boys.  While they had met Great-grandma Hazel, they had only been with her a couple of times, they didn't have an emotional bond beyond the fact we were telling them that this was a relative.

Grandma Tina of course will be different.  The boys know her, we tried talking around the subject and they led us right back to it.  So my wife jumped in and started the conversation.  My boys, like their dad, are emotional.  I am an old man, and I still can't deal with grief.  I can't watch TV shows that deal with loss logically like medical dramas, and I will NOT watch a movie where I know the protagonist dies, unless its Gladiator.  We have introduced the topic of "heaven", and then come the questions.  Where is it?  How do you get there?  How does your spirit get out?  Questions that I have no answer to.  I try to fall back on simple explanations.  As an adult, I am a science man.  My person beliefs in the hereafter are very complicated and involve the Carbon cycle.  But I do believe in a another plane of existence beyond the physical self, the Universe is too big and wondrous a place for there not to be more than meets the eye.

I don't know how I will answer their questions.  I will try to give logical answers, but answers that a 6 and 7 year old deserve to hear, answers that help them deal with the loss and give them hope.

Sorry for rambling... I will do better next time.

- Eric