Hey Cyndi,
Its been 19 days since I lost you and today just so happens to be our anniversary. 17 years of wedded bliss. We didn't have a perfect marriage, but it was really close. You were my best friend. You were my partner. We did amazing things together. We raised kids, we moved across the country twice, we bought 4 houses together, we raised and buried two dogs, and we fought cancer. We did it all together. I can't remember more than a handful of arguments, and I mean times you were really mad at me. Of course, I attribute this to how our personalities just meshed. We were both people, who wanted to be where we were and that always helped us get over those arguments faster. Given a night out or a night on the couch sitting next to you, I would always chose the latter. I think that is what I am having the hardest time with right now. I miss our time together. Just being in the same space, breathing the same oxygen. I miss your counsel, I miss your guidance, I miss your face.
Over the course of the next coupe of days, or as long as it takes, I am going to write that Lifetime Movie that we talked about. You know I hate sad stories, so I will only watch it through one time. I want to try to tell our story. I will try to be funny (I know you liked it when I was funny), you obviously didn't go out with me due to my genetic prowess. I will try to articulate what you meant to me, to us, and to so many others. It has taken losing you for all of us to to say what we always thought. You were the glue that held many lives together. I promise that I will do everything I can to honor your memory and live a life that would make you proud. I will raise young men that go on to make babies and pass your legacy down for generations.
#ILOVEYOU #IMISSYOU
Chapter 1: How we met...
I always thought of myself as some kind of ladies man. In hindsight, and through the lens of time, I can see I was about as much a ladies man as Steve Urkle. I had two long-term relationships before I met Cyndi. I dated my high school girlfriend for 3 years, and let's call her my college girlfriend for 3 years. I thought I would marry both of them. Thankfully for all of us, those women had the balls to dump my ass when the time was right. I am especially thankful to my college girlfriend. She knew that she and I wanted different things out of life. I will always be grateful that she had the courage to end our relationship. It let the two of us go out and live our lives.
After she dumped me like a hot plate of Rafferty's croissants, I went a little lady crazy. I told myself I was going to "date-around". So I did, I went on dates. Some dates were good and some dates were bad. Some dates had nice conversation and some dates were awkward stares into space while both of us thought about how we can get out of this. One such awkward date was on the Sunday before Memorial Day in the summer of 2001.
I had recently moved into an apartment with a friend. It was the first time I had ever lived away from home with another dude. He was clean, organized, and ripped. I was disheveled, messy, gross, and not ripped. He kept the apartment immaculate, while my bedroom was literally a pile of dirty clothes sitting under a pile of clean clothes. On this particular night he offered to take me out. He had a date, and her friend offered to come along. Nothing like a charity date to flex my self-esteem. I don't remember much of her, only that when we were alone she would stare at me and not say anything. I assume she was silently chastising herself for not driving, and thus not being able to escape this awkwardness. This was before Uber.
Now, on this night we went to a particular night club. The place was called "Annie's". It was some kind of dive metal bar, but on Sunday nights... it was Disco Night. The mullets and Skid Row t-shirts were replaced with backward ballcaps and Eddie Bauer polo shirts. The place was really busy and the line was really long. In front of us, in that line were two really attractive you women. A beautiful redhead and a this fine ass dark haired chick in leather pants. I don't remember how it started, but the 4 of us and the 2 of them struck up a conversation and we chatted each other up the entire wait. I don't know if it was 5 minutes or 5 hours, but it was long enough for me to know. That girl would be mine. Oh yes... she will be mine.
Some of you may have heard me say this before, but if I could have drawn my ideal woman (physically), I would have drawn 22 year old Cyndi. She had a beautiful face, spectacular hair, and curves for days. She knew she looked good in those pants too. Confidence is the sexiest thing in the Universe. The thought of it still makes me melt like cold butter on a hot biscuit.
Now, this could have been the end of the story. After all, I was in the middle of an awkward date, that I had to finish. I didn't get Cyndi's number, and I didn't know how to find her. I didn't have a glass slipper, and did not possess the courage to just ask her how to get in touch again. But, in this case the Universe saw fit to give me a second chance. A couple of days later I went out to a bar after work with some work friends. I didn't do this very often, but on this particular night I went out. One of the young ladies we worked with was already there at the bar and she brought her friend. And guess who that friend was... my dark haired smoke show.
They were playing pool and I was such a ladies man, that I wouldn't go talk to her. Something about paralyzing fear of rejection. So, I just sat there at the other side of the bar creepy staring at her. I kept asking my coworker to go talk to her for me, and she kept telling me to do it myself. After a couple doses of liquid courage I managed to say hello. I don't remember how but I managed to get her phone number, or someone got it for me. Kids, this was back when you had to get a phone number.
So... where are we. I have now bumped into this Renaissance painting twice in the same week. I had her phone number and I knew her name. Keep in mind, I still thought I was going to "date-around", and that this was going to be a fun little fling. Little did I know, I was making the best decision of my life. I was about to ask my future out on a date.
Up next... Chapter 2: Dating.
