This past weekend was fairly standard late October weather in this part of the country, as a general rule I don't recommend standing out in it for extended periods of time, especially if you are wet. But for some reason the Stary boys and myself were doing just that TWICE in one weekend.
On Saturday the boys (Carson and Becks) had a popcorn sale at a the Union Ace Hardware. It was 40 degrees and raining and the boys were outside for 4 and half hours, pimping popcorn to everybody who needed supplies that day. The boys were AWESOME! They were tough, they did their job, and they did it without complaining the entire time. I was freezing my nads off, and they just kept pushing along. Its especially awesome for the Beckster who isn't even an official Scout (kindergartners are not eligible), but he stood there with his brother and some new friends and rocked it. I was so proud of them.
I do have one little complaint. If it is cold and raining and you see 5 little boys standing out in front of a store to sell you popcorn you don't have to buy. Its OK. You can just say no thanks, or you can donate the change in your pocket. But those dozen or so people who steamrolled by or were dismissive, you are worthless piles of monkeyshit.
Sunday, was a nicer day but the general trend of cold and wet continued. I did a Tough Mudder. For those that don't know this is a 12 mile slog though mud and rock over farmland in rural Kentucky. There are obstacles which freeze, shock, and torture you. It is absolutely brutal and an awesome time. It took me 5 hours to complete, mostly because as it turns out I am not terribly good a walking down muddy trails. I moved slowly and still managed to fall. A LOT! I have a couple of awesome bruises and my knees feel like someone bashed them with a hammer, again... I fell... A LOT!
Here are the basic highlights and lowlights of the event from my rookie perspective:
1. The "Arctic Enema" is a ice bath. You jump into a dumpster of ice water, more ice than water. Walk about 20 feet. Go under some boards (to force you to submerge your face). Then climb out. Obviously it sucks, but its not that bad. The cold takes your breath away and you can't get air in. The worst part was trying to get out, because you just could not do it fast enough!
2. Electroshock. Two obstacles "shock" you with 10,000 volts. Yes it hurts. But again, its not that bad. The worst part here is that the obstacles force to move rather slowly. The first has you crawling under barbed wire, the second running through a mud pit. Side note: it turns out I am very good at crawling through mud on all fours! When you get hit it hurts, but its not that bad.
3. THE MUD! The mud is the worst part of the event (I know... DUH!), but it really does suck. There are mud obstacles, some of which are so slippery you can't get any traction. The people behind you have to push, people in front pull. There were sections of hills (up and down) where you could not stand. You had to drag yourself up with grass and rock or slide down on your ass. Like I said, I fell. A LOT! My knees are beat to hell.
4. The Walls. My best bruise is from the wall obstacles. I am short, so I can't hop up straight into a full extension like some of these guys could (jealous!). I had to grab the wall, pull myself up and hook an arm over the wall to hold myself while I pulled my body up. My right arm (I will post a pic), is bruised up like a character on Mike Tyson's punchout.
5. My FAILS! I had a couple fails. Monkey Bars = FAIL. I fell off the second bar. Admittedly, I don't have great grip strength and it showed. The Warped Wall / Mt. Everest = FAIL. This is basically a half-pike, you run up grap the top, pull over. I ran up, grabbed the top, and fell down. I tried again and again and again and again and again. I decided after the fifth fail, I would get that one next year.
All in all, it was a great experience. Its fun to challenge your self like that. I am very sore right now, and after having done this, I will be much more prepared for next year's event. 51 weeks to train!
My next challenge will be a marathon. The Flying Pig Marathon will be here before I know it. Time to get running!
Monday, October 21, 2013
Friday, September 13, 2013
Happy Birthday to Me - Mr. Subliminal
36 was pretty good to me. 37 will be better.
For starters this post should be read as if by Mr. Subliminal (http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xgqmzk_mr-subliminal_shortfilms)
Physically, I am in the best shape of my adult life. Yes, that shape is rounder than I would like it to be (more of an ellipse I guess), but it is considerably less round than I was a year ago at this time and far less round than I have been in the past (31 year old Eric had to go buy fat pants). And let's be honest, 17 year-old Eric was a fat little pud too (not to mention a douchebag), so its not like I used to look like an underwear model.
I am strong for an old man, not 22 year-old Eric strong, but I also don't get to spend 2 plus hours in the gym every day (you would think all that work would have had a better pay-off). My shoulders and knees now hurt all the time. The other night I got down on the floor to read books with the wife and kids and my left knee said "stay down" (my left knee talks like Drago from Rocky IV).
I will do better this year than I did last year. I have a much improved philosophy on eating (less donuts) and I have a great workout plan that I have settled into (go to gym and do stuff). I will eventually look like an underwear model, now it may be a Depends underwear model, but damn it I got to start my second career somewhere. I am coming for your title Marky Mark! C'mon... feel it feel it.
Mentally, I feel like I am right where I should be (still functioning). I guess. I can't remember anything my wife tells me. I can't find my keys or my wallet. I can't remember where I parked or where I am driving to (sometimes I just drive and hope my wife tells me where to turn). I can't spell (stupid spellchecker). I can't remember anyone's phone numbers (stupid smartphones). I have no idea where I put my pants. Why did I put this here? Who was that? What is her name? When did we buy this chicken? Where are my kids? No seriously... where are the kids? Oh... cool beans!
Work is work... mehh! I have a good job. I am good at it. I am trapped (mortgage). I get paid well. Hello rock this is hard place, hard place meet rock.
My life at home is awesome (loud). Yes it can be stressful and yes at times I might want to pull my hair out (too late), but I have no complaints. My wife and kids (and mortgage) are the reason I stay on that wrecking ball. But the first chance I get to open that burger shop (need $150,000), consider me gone.
I have great friends. I don't get to see them as much as I would like, but as my kids get bigger and our babysitter options get broader we plan to see more of you and more often. If you clicked on that link... yep... that is the entire movie. Copyrights be damned!
I keep getting better with age (like Mexican box wine). I look forward to another year of kicking ass (my own).
Who-Dey and have a great friggin' "Year of Eric"!
For starters this post should be read as if by Mr. Subliminal (http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xgqmzk_mr-subliminal_shortfilms)
Physically, I am in the best shape of my adult life. Yes, that shape is rounder than I would like it to be (more of an ellipse I guess), but it is considerably less round than I was a year ago at this time and far less round than I have been in the past (31 year old Eric had to go buy fat pants). And let's be honest, 17 year-old Eric was a fat little pud too (not to mention a douchebag), so its not like I used to look like an underwear model.
I am strong for an old man, not 22 year-old Eric strong, but I also don't get to spend 2 plus hours in the gym every day (you would think all that work would have had a better pay-off). My shoulders and knees now hurt all the time. The other night I got down on the floor to read books with the wife and kids and my left knee said "stay down" (my left knee talks like Drago from Rocky IV).
I will do better this year than I did last year. I have a much improved philosophy on eating (less donuts) and I have a great workout plan that I have settled into (go to gym and do stuff). I will eventually look like an underwear model, now it may be a Depends underwear model, but damn it I got to start my second career somewhere. I am coming for your title Marky Mark! C'mon... feel it feel it.
Mentally, I feel like I am right where I should be (still functioning). I guess. I can't remember anything my wife tells me. I can't find my keys or my wallet. I can't remember where I parked or where I am driving to (sometimes I just drive and hope my wife tells me where to turn). I can't spell (stupid spellchecker). I can't remember anyone's phone numbers (stupid smartphones). I have no idea where I put my pants. Why did I put this here? Who was that? What is her name? When did we buy this chicken? Where are my kids? No seriously... where are the kids? Oh... cool beans!
Work is work... mehh! I have a good job. I am good at it. I am trapped (mortgage). I get paid well. Hello rock this is hard place, hard place meet rock.
My life at home is awesome (loud). Yes it can be stressful and yes at times I might want to pull my hair out (too late), but I have no complaints. My wife and kids (and mortgage) are the reason I stay on that wrecking ball. But the first chance I get to open that burger shop (need $150,000), consider me gone.
I have great friends. I don't get to see them as much as I would like, but as my kids get bigger and our babysitter options get broader we plan to see more of you and more often. If you clicked on that link... yep... that is the entire movie. Copyrights be damned!
I keep getting better with age (like Mexican box wine). I look forward to another year of kicking ass (my own).
Who-Dey and have a great friggin' "Year of Eric"!
Friday, August 30, 2013
Yeah Football Season
I love fall. Everything about it is awesome. The weather, at least in this part of the country, is awesome with cool nights and warm days. It's blue jeans and hoodie weather, which doesn't cause near the same amount of problems here as it does in Florida. The beer is great and the food is great as both are flooded in the seasonal goodness that is pumpkin flavor. However, please note, eating an actual pumpkin tastes like shit. But on top of all that other general awesomeness is the return of football.
I love football, not in the "oh goodie my favorite team is on", but in the "yeah sure I will watch a Division III game between two teams which previously haven't won a game in 10 ten years". I will watch high school games, and then incorrectly remember my own high school football tales of glory. They are much better in my head than they ever were in real life. I am a Bengals fan, which means the vast majority of my adulthood was spent angry on Sunday afternoons, but lately the happy Sunday is outpacing the "we suck" Sunday. As a general rule, if you talk to me on Sunday you should check the score before you call!
Fall will be interesting for the family as well this year. Carson is in first grade and Becks is in the Big K. I took today off work (its a Friday), and I am sitting here typing while the twins play. There is no reason for me to walk outside and curse "Put my friggin' tools back!" or "No, you can't use my flippin' chainsaw". Both boys are somebody else's problem right now!!! Carson seems to be having a tough time with getting up early, at least he keeps waking up on the cranky ass side of his bed. Not to mention every school night has been a fist fight at bed time, thankfully my wife doesn't take any shit from grammar school kids. If it were just me, they would be up playing on-line poker after 10PM, because I am a sucker and poker skills are good for math.
We are going to try cub scouts with Carson this year. I am a little gun shy because I get the feeling this will end up being an activity where I have to do a bunch of stuff and he pouts about having to go. Hopefully I am wrong. We all could use to learn some scout skills, you know... for when the Zombie Apocalypse sets in! Side Note: Walking Dead returns in October... yet another reason to love fall. The scouts brochure is all about camping and fishing and outdoorsie crap, all of which I possess ZERO skills in. It will make for a good blog post when I am the laughing stock of the jamboree!
Oh well... I am going to go take care of a little work on my day off. Because I am a sucker! Enjoy the long weekend, enjoy football season, enjoy fall, enjoy pumpkin muffins from dunkin donuts (seriously...), enjoy some pumpkin beers (soooo many good ones).
- Eric
I love football, not in the "oh goodie my favorite team is on", but in the "yeah sure I will watch a Division III game between two teams which previously haven't won a game in 10 ten years". I will watch high school games, and then incorrectly remember my own high school football tales of glory. They are much better in my head than they ever were in real life. I am a Bengals fan, which means the vast majority of my adulthood was spent angry on Sunday afternoons, but lately the happy Sunday is outpacing the "we suck" Sunday. As a general rule, if you talk to me on Sunday you should check the score before you call!
Fall will be interesting for the family as well this year. Carson is in first grade and Becks is in the Big K. I took today off work (its a Friday), and I am sitting here typing while the twins play. There is no reason for me to walk outside and curse "Put my friggin' tools back!" or "No, you can't use my flippin' chainsaw". Both boys are somebody else's problem right now!!! Carson seems to be having a tough time with getting up early, at least he keeps waking up on the cranky ass side of his bed. Not to mention every school night has been a fist fight at bed time, thankfully my wife doesn't take any shit from grammar school kids. If it were just me, they would be up playing on-line poker after 10PM, because I am a sucker and poker skills are good for math.
We are going to try cub scouts with Carson this year. I am a little gun shy because I get the feeling this will end up being an activity where I have to do a bunch of stuff and he pouts about having to go. Hopefully I am wrong. We all could use to learn some scout skills, you know... for when the Zombie Apocalypse sets in! Side Note: Walking Dead returns in October... yet another reason to love fall. The scouts brochure is all about camping and fishing and outdoorsie crap, all of which I possess ZERO skills in. It will make for a good blog post when I am the laughing stock of the jamboree!
Oh well... I am going to go take care of a little work on my day off. Because I am a sucker! Enjoy the long weekend, enjoy football season, enjoy fall, enjoy pumpkin muffins from dunkin donuts (seriously...), enjoy some pumpkin beers (soooo many good ones).
- Eric
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